So there are many of you who loyally watch these shows and, like me, make continual comments to the television whether anyone else is in the room or not. Alternately, there are many of you who do not have the time to keep up with reality TV – there are too many shows, your tivos runneth over, you have kids and can’t remember what it’s like to watch anything beyond Dora the Explorer (you know who you are) – but you also want to be “in the know.” That’s fine. Let me help you understand.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Voice: Team Adam and Team Cee-Lo Perform

This evening the remaining contestants from Team Blake and Team Xtina have the night off, are we are treated to twelve performances - six from Team Adam and six from Team Cee-Lo. Let's get to it!

Team Adam: Katrina Parker
Song: “Tonight, Tonight” by The Smashing Pumpkins

Katrina tries to work the Adele vibe without singing an Adele song (America thanks you, Katrina). This is an interesting song for her voice, and I’m digging it. The staging makes this performance more Broadway than rock-ish, but since half of the critiques on all singing competition shows are “make it your own,” I’m good with this.

Coaches Say: Xtina’s looks get (dare I say it?) classier and classier each week….for Xtina anyway. She was hoping Katrina would rock out but remains captivated by her voice. Cee-Lo doesn’t think the song needed a “show tune” spin, and Adam immediately disagrees. He compliments her strength and energy.
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Team Cee-Lo: Cheesa (Just Cheesa – watch out, RaeLynn).
Song: "Don’t Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston

I’m soooooo distracted by Cheesa’s eye make-up, and she’s wearing something almost like a track suit….she must have really taken this whole “Cee-Lo is my role model” thing to the extreme. She sounds fine, but I don’t see any kind of wow factor here.

Coaches Say: Blake thinks it was like watching “Solid Gold.” Adam likes the performance but would also like her to be more distinct and stand out more. Cee-Lo thinks the performance was wonderful and electrifying.
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Team Adam: Tony Lucca
Song: "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel

So, I was in love with Tony when he was on The Mickey Mouse Club. I may have watched every episode. I may have been an “at home” Club member. I may still have my membership card. Anyway, Tony is really into this song, almost violently touching the crowd’s hands. He stops for a moment near the end of the song, and I’m not sure why. I also don’t care. I love him.

Coaches Say: Xtina remembers his name now, and she finds him to be one-dimensional. She wants him to grow….she says all of these things without making eye contact with Tony. But it gets worse: "Obviously, you have me and your old Mouseketeer buddies behind you, and Justin in particular, but I hope this is about the voice, rather than a celebrity sway." She’s “just being honest.” Oh, Xtina. What you did was low. Adam does not seem pleased with her critique and says Tony did him proud.
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Team Adam: Kim Yarbough
Song: “Rolling In the Deep” by Adele

I don’t think anyone should sing Adele songs on this show anymore. Or if we HAVE to sing Adele on this show, let the girl who sounds like Adele sing Adele. Kim has a great voice, she really does, but this is not the song for her. I worry that she will fall to the same fate Naia did last week after her attempt at “Turning Tables.”

Coaches Say: Blake thinks she was sharp, but it was good. Cee-Lo thinks she should have picked a different song so no one would compare her to Adele. Weird. Adam notes that there were some problems, but he does not want her to lose confidence. What a great guy (in all seriousness). He closes by saying that he hopes she advances and the right song will be really effective for her.
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Team Cee-Lo: James Massone
Song: “Don’t Know Why” by Norah Jones

I’m not sure why Cee-Lo chose this song, and for me, he is all over the place. I can’t really hear him…not in a “Norah Jones has such a soft voice” sort of way…more of a “he’s barely singing and keeps losing the end of words” sort of way. Not enjoyable for me.

Coaches Say: Blake almost threw his panties on the stage. Oh how I wish he had. Xtina notes the pitch problems, but likes the subtle approach. I must be crazy then. Cee-Lo knows the ladies like him, and I guess that’s all that matters.
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Team Cee-Lo: Juliet Sims
Song: “Roxanne” by The Police

I am a little unsure of the opening, but within 30 seconds, she goes into classic rock mode, and I LOVE it. This girl knows what she’s doing (so do the lighting folks – lots of red lights in the background), and I really hope she sails through to next week.

Coaches Say: Adam is pissed she is not on his team and calls her performance the best he has seen so far. Xtina says she is dope. Well, actually she says dooooooooope. Cee-Lo is beaming
in a creepy kind of way, saying “wow, baby, just wow.” He also says she is “well-endowed
with too much talent to not have great taste.” Exponentially disturbing.
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Team Adam: Mathai (trending: no last names needed)
Song: “Ordinary People” by John Legend

She’s another one with a unique voice, but I don’t think she’s very connected to the song. She sings about a troubled relationship with a giant grin on her face, and it’s distracting. It was an “eh” performance for me.

Coaches Say: Xtina likes her voice a lot and thinks she makes the right ad-lib choices. Blake admires her confidence and how she is able to have a good time (paging Paula Abdul). Adam calls her magical and couldn’t be happier with her performance.
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Team Cee-Lo: Tony Vincent
Song: “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” by Tears For Fears

Oh my. Tony begins at a very large podium, and I know this is meant as a dramatic staging effect, but all this really reminds me of Eminem’s “White America” music video. I don’t think Tony is going for Eminem here. I keep waiting for the podium part to be over…and whew! The red masked back-up dancers spin the podium around so Tony can make it down a set of stairs. Unfortunately this is my favorite part of the performance.

Coaches Say: Blake was "all wrapped up in whatever that was" and couldn’t focus on the music. Xtina appreciates the production value of the performance but wanted to hear a little more from him. Cee-Lo believes there is an evil empire and Tony is an appreciator of art. And then the meaning of the podium prop is revealed: Cee-Lo would vote for Tony if Tony wanted to rule the world. Thank goodness we cleared that up.
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Team Adam: Karla Davis
Song: “Airplanes” by B.O.B

Karla is sing on the wing of an airplane in the night’s sky – see what they did there? Unfortunately, Karla struggles with the song and is out of breath most of the time. That's all I really have for her.

Coaches Say: Xtina was surprised by the song voice and thinks Karla whispered a lot of the time. Blake knows immediately that he is going to piss off Adam, saying the song choice didn’t
allow her to really sing. Adam kind of gets the criticism – apparently this is “a hard song to be in the pocket of.” Must be my general lack of music lingo knowledge, but I have no idea what that
means.
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Team Cee-Lo: Erin Martin
Song: Walk Like An Egyptian

Oh I really hope she does the look to one side of the room and then to the other side of the room thing from the music video. I’m going to have to wait though, as Erin is entering the stage via chariot drawn by a group of scantily clad men who clearly work out. She sings the song well, though there are no big notes to hit or any other way to really show off her voice. Props to the, um, male props though.

Coaches Say: Blake notices that male strippers were part of this performance, but does not think the song allowed her to sing to her potential. Adam jumps in and says “I think Blake just bought a one way ticket to Bonertown.” Wait – can they say that on NBC? Does NBC just think that’s a real place? Xtina loves theatrics, but thinks Erin could have “brought it harder.” Are we still talking about Bonertown?
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Team Adam: Pip (next week no one will have last names)
Song: “When You Were Young” by The Killers

Regardless of the song, I hope Pip always sticks with the bow tie. No one named Pip should ever wear anything else. Pip puts a lot of energy in this performance, and I think his voice
actually goes really well with this song. I like this guy.

Coaches Say: Xtina loves his vocal ability, but she thinks he tried too hard. Adam still wants him to be more dangerous and scary. Hmmm. Probably need a new wardrobe for him then.
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Team Cee-Lo: Jamar Rogers
Song: “Are You Gonna Go My Way” by Lenny Kravitz

Okay, Jamar wins tonight because his guitar players are women on stilts. He’s also quite the performer – as much as I love the guitar players, I'm not at all distracted by them. He has everyone’s attention. Well done, dude!

Coaches Say: Blake doesn’t understand what the people on stilts have to do with the song. Cee-Lo grins creepily again. Adam says Jamar’s performance proves what this show is about. Amen.
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Tomorrow three from each team advance on votes and one from each team will advance from a coaches’ save. It's hard to say who will say and who will go. As long as the chariot dancers and circus guitarists make it through though, I will be a happy camper.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Idol Elimination: An Almost Save

Ryan welcomes us to elimination night and immediately calls out Joshua, because he’s not feeling well. In fact, he has Joshua describe all of his symptoms, and for what reason I don’t know. Now, Hollie is sitting in front of Joshua already looking like she may vomit, so this could prove to be a very interesting hour of live television.

Before we get to the results though, we are treated to the premiere of J.Lo’s racy new video for “Dance Again.” Um, there are A LOT of almost naked people in this video. For a second, I think I’m listening to “On the Floor,” and then Pitbull pops up in the video to really mess with my mind. I’m snapped back into reality when J.Lo blindfolds her new boyfriend though, because I know that didn’t happen during any of the “la la la la la” parts of “On the Floor.” Well, there are worse ways to kill an hour I suppose.

Results! The duet partners from last night will be called up to learn their fates, and we begin with Joshua and Jessica. Even though Joshua is dizzy, and Ryan reminds us that Joshua isn’t feeling well and may pass out, Joshua takes center stage with Jessica anyway. They are both safe, as expected.

Commercial break, and The Wanted performs “Glad You Came.” I don’t know these guys, but they are apparently a British boy band. The eight girls in the “jump up and down wildly” pit near the stairs know who they are though. Oh okay – they are back upndancers, so it makes more sense to me now that they were in a small hole in the stage floor for a hot minute. J.Lo really seems to like them, and I think one of them kisses her on the cheek as they make their way past the judges’ table. Uh-oh. I hope her boyfriend still has the blindfold on…

Results! Skylar and Colton are up, and after they discuss how Skylar might have been overlooked as a power vocalist up until now, Hollie and DeAndre are asked to take the stage as well. Coincidence? Perhaps. DeAndrea is in the bottom three, Hollie joins him there, and Colton and Skylar are safe. Time for a commercial.

Ryan announces that Kelli Pickler will perform “Where’s Tammy Wynette?” in just a second. Already I’m recalling that Tammy Wynette has been deceased for quite some time now, but I also saw Kelli Pickler’s appearance on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, so I imagine no one has told Kelli about Tammy’s passing. Not a bad song though, and she sounds pretty good, but wow – she looks different. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but if Ryan hadn’t announced her, I don’t know that I would have recognized her immediately.

Results! Either Elise of Phillip will join Hollie and DeAndre in the bottom 3. My guess is Elise, since she gets more compliments on her wardrobe than she does on her voice. Yup, Elise makes her way over to the stools of doom. BUT Hollie is safe!!! It takes her a moment to register Ryan’s
words, and we leave DeAndre and Elise hanging on for dear life as we go to commercial.

Before we find out who goes home, Ryan asks the judges if America got it right. Steven says no, and J.Lo and Randy say half and half. Given their remarks to Elise last night, they must think DeAndre should have been safe. Elise, however, is safe instead– DeAndre will have to sing for the
save. I can’t tell what’s going to happen here. The judges have been more supportive of this kid then they have of several of the better performers/singers in this competition. I hope they don’t use their save on him though – he’s not going to win this show. Seems none of the judges wanted to deliver the news…they reek of indecision tonight. J.Lo breaks first, revealing that she wants to save DeAndre, but Steven and Randy do not.

So we are now down to seven, with two more weeks for the judges to use their save. Until next week!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Idol: The Judges Need A Time-Out

Tonight the Top 8 will entertain us with songs from the 80s, and somehow the photo they show of 80s Randy in a polka dot shirt looks a lot like current Randy wearing…a polka dot shirt. He just has less hair now. Our guest mentors this week are Gwen Stefani and Tony Kanal from No Doubt. Personally, I think it would be great if Gwen was also the fashion consultant. There's no word on wheather Gwen and Tony will have any influence on tonight's duets, so I'm already not getting my hopes up for those portions of the evening.

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Contestant: DeAndre Brackensick
Song: “I Like It,” by DeBarge

DeAndre walks through the audience to the stage, missing high fives from the audience as he goes, and the non-falsetto and non-hair tossing moments are my favorites. Perhaps if I were still a teenage girl I would be a bigger fan. Still, this may be my favorite performance of his, you know, when he's not whipping his hair back and forth.


Judges' Remarks: J.Lo likes it a lot. See what she did there? Steven is captivated…but I’m not sure how much it takes to really captivate Steven. Randy informs us that El DeBarge was the lead singer of DeBarge. Thanks for that
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Contestant: Elise Testone
Song: “I Want To Know What Love Is,” by Foreigner

Elise wanted to sing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” first, and I’m so glad she decided not too – far too many contestants have done that song over the years. I’m slightly distracted by her shirt sleeve, but then she gets to the chorus and I forget about her wardrobe and focus on the inexplicable pocket watches swaying on the screens behind her. Oh the song? Not perfect, but not bad at all.

Judges' Remarks: I have no idea what Steven says other than it wasn’t for him. J.Lo says Elise can sing anything (but she didn’t say the phone book, thank goodness). For Randy, for her, she was underneath the pitch, and she was out of tune everywhere. Everywhere? Meaning the stage, the dressing room? I need a Randy language guide - a dawgtionary perhaps.
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DUET: Skylar and Colton sing “Islands In The Stream” by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton.
There are steams in the background. Just sayin’. Obviously Skylar is much more comfortable with a country tune than Colton is, but Colton seems to be channeling an inner Randy Travis by barely moving his mouth as he sings. I don’t think I’ll be downloading this, but it’s pleasant to listen to overall.

Judges Remarks: Randy says “so yo” then some other stuff, and then tells them they are great. J.Lo says Skylar knows exactly where to bite into a song, and I immediately picture Skylar chewing on her sheet music.
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Contestant: Phillip Phillips
Song: “That Song,” by Genesis


Gwen says that Phillip is sexy, and I wholeheartedly agree. P squared did not look super confident during rehearsal and is not looking super confident as he starts this song, but then that vein on his forehead pops out and all is well with the world. Phillip takes Tony’s advice and stops playing the guitar during the bridge, and his brother-in-law is there on guitar to assist the performance. Interesting. I wonder if any of the other constants feel slighted by this...


Judges' Remarks: Steven loves his individuality, and Randy notes that Phillip and his brother-in-law have probably done this before. They sure did….during the pre-performance tape on the screen. Wow.
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DUET: Hollie and DeAndre sing “I’m So Excited,” by The Pointer Sisters. Hollie is working some Olivia Newton John leather pants tonight, and she is the better half of this song for sure. Again, pleasant to listen to, but I’m ready for the next solo.

Judges' Remarks: Steven calls it “beautiful.” Weird, huh? J.Lo thinks they are both at home while singing. Randy says they both can really sing. How does one work with that level of critique?
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Contestant: Joshua Ledet
Song: “If You Don’t Know Me by Now,” by Simply Red


Joshua has a choir from the start, and I think Easter has come early. Joshua even adds a “woo!” here and there as he goes. I keep feeling we've already been here before. He gets a little to screechy for me in the second half of the song, but I can’t deny that he was born to sing. I just don’t enjoy this performance as much as I have enjoyed others.

Judges' Remarks: J.Lo says “ask and ye shall receive” and calls the performance spectacular. Steven said “it wasn’t too much over the top, and it then it was way over the top.” Chew on that for as long as you need to. Randy wanted to stand up from start to finish, but luckily, he did not overexert himself.
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Contestant: Jessica Sanchez
Song: “How Will I Know?” by Whitney Houston


I’m overlooking the fact that we already had a Whitney week, because I love this song. Gwen says Jessica’s voice is ridiculous during rehearsal. I am a huge Jessica fan, but given how amazing her performance of “I Will Always Love You” was last month, I’m not sure this was the best idea. I’m also not completely sold on Jessica singing up-tempo tunes.


Judges' Remarks: J.Lo calls her both a little girl and a women, both of which are meant as compliments. Steven says “everything you do is beautiful.” Randy worked with Whitney Houston…and instead of throwing my laptop, I ask my TV buddies to pause the DVR so I can compose myself.
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DUET: Phillip and Elise sing “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” by Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks
Phillip look s far more comfortable sans guitar than he ever has before, and they both sound great together. Equal measures of angst and rasp, and this is my favorite duet so far.


Judges' Remarks: Randy welcomes Elise back and says they were great. Steven thinks their duet was both beautiful and nice. K.
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Contestant: Hollie Cavanagh
Song: “What a Feeling,” by Irene Cara

Hollie is a big Gwen fan, and Gwen encourages her to be more energetic with the song. Hollie is still slightly apprehensive in her moves across the stage, but she is showing more personality than she has in any other performance (thanks Gwen). I am so proud of her. Nice job, kid.


Judges' Remarks: Steven calls her pitchy. WHAT? J.Lo says she didn’t let go. She tells Hollie to “forget about everything people say when you get up there”….but she also tells her she has to listen to people when they are trying to help her. Is it “say what you mean and then the exact opposite” day? Randy agrees with them and I’m cursing loudly at this point. I call shenanigans – they’re trying to push her out.
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DUET: Jessica and Joshua sing “I Knew You Were Waiting For Me,” by Aretha Franklin and George Michael. Since they are both so strong vocally, they are both also incredibly loud and trying to out sing one another here. I like them both, I do, but this is just too much for me.


Judges' Remarks: Standing ovation, and a lot of “most amazing, best ever” comments, and I’m done with the judges tonight.
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Contestant: Colton Dixon
Song: “Time After Time” by Cindy Lauper


Gwen sings with Colton, and I hope for a real duet from them soon. This song and its arrangement are actually perfect for him. Colton gets completely into all of his songs and really playing to the audience. It’s clear that he is trying to build a career here and not just win a competition.

Judges' Remarks: No really, I’m done with them.
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Contestant: Skylar Laine
Song: “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler

Skylar misses her guns, so the judges better watch out – seems she has quite the collection at home. I’m not sure what to anticipate with this song because of her twang, but I have to say that I love it. Get it, girl. If there ever was a dark horse in this competition, it’s Skylar. And if not, she’ll shoot you.


TAKE THAT JUDGES!
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Tomorrow we’ll see if Hollie and Elise survive the “pitchy, but you look great” kiss off, and if they do, I have to believe the judges would use their save for just about everyone else. I would honestly rather see DeAndre go home before...well...the rest of the contestants at this point, but I'm not sure I will get my wish.