So there are many of you who loyally watch these shows and, like me, make continual comments to the television whether anyone else is in the room or not. Alternately, there are many of you who do not have the time to keep up with reality TV – there are too many shows, your tivos runneth over, you have kids and can’t remember what it’s like to watch anything beyond Dora the Explorer (you know who you are) – but you also want to be “in the know.” That’s fine. Let me help you understand.

Friday, March 23, 2012

We Got It Wrong Tonight, America.

Tonight's results show opens with the Top 10 singing “For the Longest Time.” Elise sings her part from Steven’s lap, and as the camera pans to Skylar in the audience, we see the entire audience snapping enthusiastically (including Season 10’s Casey James). I can’t complain too much – they weren’t lip synching, and that’s a step up from some of last year’s group routines.

After our first commercial break, we are presented with the Ford music video to the tune of “You Found Me” by Kelly Clarkson. The Top 10 looked around a really nice house for…something. Dunno if they found it, but hey, there was a Ford Focus in there and that’s all that matters. Could this be a dig at Kelly’s awesome Chevy “Stronger” commercial? Better not be – don’t bite the hand that fed you generously, Idol.

Results! Skylar, Hollie, and Elise take center stage. Elise already looks prepared for the bottom 3. I guess Steven didn’t give her any words of encouragement as she assumed her “For the Longest Time” position earlier. Hollie is safe! Skylar is safe! And Elise….is tortured for a minute and then also declared safe. Whew. For a second there I thought she was a psychic.

Lana Del Ray is up and I imagine everyone is wondering if this will be better than her SNL performance (Google it). She’s singing the song about video games accompanied by a piano and an orchestra that I barely hear until the end of the song. Since she’s not a contestant I don’t really want to critique her…wait, yeah I do. She’s awkward, doing kind of a singing/talking combination thing, and I don’t actually see her eyes until the song ends. I don’t get her, or why she is a "new pop sensation," but my opinion doesn’t count anyway so I’m sure she will continue to make a ton of money.

After the commercial break, we learn it is Steven’s birthday. Whoa! Joe Perry is there to lead the “Happy Birthday” serenade! Awesome.

Results! DeAndre, Joshua and Jessica are called. Jessica is safe! Joshua is safe! DeAndre is devastated as he takes his spot in the bottom 3. Clearly it’s time for another commercial.

When we return, Haley Reinhart is singing in a giant bird cage. She’s kind of working the bars on that cage too. Haley is able to break free about half way through her performance, and she really sounds good. She must be one of those who can do and is doing (thanks again, Randy).

Results! The four remaining contestants take the stage, and my elementary school math skills tell me only two of them are through to next week for sure. Colton is safe! Erika is not…and I start pouting. Phillip is safe, and Heejun joins the bottom 3.

Post-commercial, DeAndre looks like he might be sick, but then he is also declared safe and we're down to Erika and Heejun. I have a bad feeling about this, and I have to pause my Tivo and collect my emotions. Indeed, Heejun is safe, and Erika is most likely going home. I can’t see the judges using their one save this early, even if others deserve to go home before she does.

Erika sings “I Believe in You and Me” from Whitney week, and she breaks my heart. Sing it girl. The judges do not use their save (they weren’t even talking to one another as if they were still deciding during her performance). Hello – is anybody listening? Sigh. I wish her the best, but I’m not sure that I know of any 10th place finishers that have found success after the tour.

Until next week…

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