American Idol: I Call Shenanigans

We have reached the Final Four of American Idol 2013 and tonight the remaining ladies will give it their all hoping to get one step closer to a spot in the finale. The ladies will take on two songs again this week plus a duet that thankfully does not include Lazaro. Round 1 features songs the contestants have chosen themselves (vague) and Round 2 is “one hit wonders” which is a theme chosen by the viewers. Annnd they're off!

 

ROUND 1 

 

Contestant: Amber Holcomb

Song: “The Power of Love” by Celine Dion

 

Amber begins the song alone on a dark staircase, looking convincingly like a diva. I can’t help but sing along (poorly) when she gets to the “I’m your laaaaaaaaaddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” part. The song builds perfectly, and I give her a lot of credit on this one. Great start to the night but let’s hope it doesn’t get a….

Judges Say: Standing O from everyone but Mariah. Oh hell. Is it going to be that kind of night where we just stand for every performance? Keith says the song was tailor made for Amber's voice, and he thinks she made it look effortless. Nicki tells Amber she looks like “a big, sexy glass of milk” and wants a moment of silence for how beautiful Amber looks. Sigh. That’s not what those are for, Nicki. Randy thinks Amber looks like a black and white cookie, and the night is already giving me a headache. He says Amber is the contestant with the most growth and calls her a pro. Mariah has emancipated her mimis tonight and the camera doesn’t seem quite sure on how to best capture them. She says Amber has a glorious tone and gave a classic song flavor.

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Contestant: Candice Glover

Song: “Find Your Love” by Drake

You know, when Candice starts to sing, I have a hard time typing anything. She’s just so captivating. I feel that I could go to one of her concerts and the show would be over before I could even think to check my watch (kidding…who even wears a watch anymore?). This is another great performance from her and she just makes me smile.

Judges Say: Nicki says Candice is amazing but wishes Candice had stuck to the melody. Next. Randy thinks Candice is using the “church girl” in her all the time…and she doesn’t need to do so many runs…and now I’m angry. This is the same man who SHOVED Joshua Ledet down our throats last season and all Joshua did was scream at us and make every line a run. Mariah saves this mess and tells Candice that Candice took her to a place she needed to be, asking her not to veer from taking musical chances. Keith loves what Candice did what the song because he hears Candice every week and not a cover artist.

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Contestant: Kree Harrison

Song: “It Hurts So Bad” by Susan Tedeschi

Hot damn. Kree is wearing leather pants and rocking her hips back and forth with authority. Granted she’s only rocking her hips back and forth and doesn’t stray from the small section of the stage near the judges table, but I don’t care. She's so into the song, she sounds amazing as always, and I’m super excited for her.

Judges Say: Randy says Kree’s name 3 times (like Candyman?) and tells her there were parts of the song where she was disconnected. What? Mariah feels that Kree finally lost herself during this performance (in a good way). Whew. Back on track? No…Keith still thinks Kree isn’t giving enough emotion and that disappoints me greatly. Nicki says the performance isn’t going to give Kree what she needs to get to next week. Are you effing kidding me? Candice’s critiques pissed me off but this is outrageous. Are we just replacing Janelle with Kree now? I’ll be interested to see what Angie gets from them…

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Contestant: Angie Miller

Song: “Who You Are” by Jessie J

 

After a stellar night last week, Angie is starting to climb to the top spot for many Idol fanatics. Make no mistake – she’s made me a believer too but I don't rank her about Kree and Candice. Piano Angie returns tonight though so the judges should already love everything about this song. For me, for her, for Randy, I think it’s a pitchy performance. Passionate, but pitchy. Let’s go ahead and just assume I’m wrong though because the judges are sure to disagree.

 

Judges Say: Yup. Standing ovation from everyone but Mariah. So clearly somewhere along the line Amber and Angie became the Idol favorites, and Candice and Kree will just have to take a beating for the rest of the night. Super. Mariah says the caliber of that performance was “beyond.” She doesn’t finish that thought but she does believe Angie had a professional, stunning moment. Keith has so much confidence in Angie as an artist because she gets more carefree and “looser” during each performance. His words, not mine. Nicki likes Angie on the piano and Randy thinks Angie is in it to win it. Insert any and all expletives here _____.

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ROUND 2

Contestant: Amber Holcomb
Song: “MacArthur Park” by Donna Summer

This is the first time I’ve ever forgotten about Amber’s legs…the lipstick is killing me. The opening of the song is kind of a crazy mess with the high notes, but the second part (which is more disco-y) is okay with the exception of her lower register. Amber’s first performance tonight was worlds better than this one, but since Amber is the new Joshua Ledet I imagine I'm all alone in my thoughts.  

Judges Say: Mariah and Randy stand, Keith gets up for a hot second, but Nicki remains seated. I’m really ready to turn the TV off at this point. Keith says Amber is dominating tonight telling her she had an incredible performance. Nicki calls Amber “Angie” then says she is a blooming flower. Why does she have this job? Seriously. Randy thinks Amber is also in it to win it, and I pause my Tivo and take a 5 minute break before I can watch the rest of this episode. Mariah thinks there is something about Amber’s inner glow and confidence give her “star quality.” She then compliments Amber on her lower register and I let out a Charlie Brown “ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!”

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Contestant: Candice Glover

Song: “Emotion” by Samantha Sang

I imagine most people are more familiar with the Destiny’s Child cover, so this rendition does not have the Beyonce hashtag “POW” that folks are probably expecting. Candice does seem to scale it back on this performance…possibly because she has a cold and would rather be hopped up on Nyquil…possibly because the judges were so absurdly brutal to her during the first round. Either way, Candice is still the best vocalist in the competition and no one is going to make me think differently. I think this is a solid, classy performance.

Judges Say: In the words of Simon Cowell… “Complete and utter nonsense.” Moving on.

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Contestant: Kree Harrison

Song: “A Whiter Shade of Pale” by Procol Harem

I’ve been a big fan of this song for a while. My favorite version (Surprise! Not a Kelly Clarkson cover!) is by Sarah Brightman. That being said, Kree’s rendition is a very, very close second and I’m clapping and “woo”ing when it’s over. There is no way in the world “MacArthur Park” was better than this. I think Kree’s connection to both of her songs tonight is beyond impressive, and I will be mad as hell if she goes home tomorrow.

Judges Say: Randy says Kree can flat out sing (no $&#!) and she has redeemed herself. Mariah tells Kree she is going to download that song and Kree required no redemption. Keith apparently just doesn’t like Kree anymore. Nicki loved the performance but she then goes on and on about why she thinks Kree will be in the bottom 2. SHUT UP NICKI.

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Contestant: Angie Miller

Song: “Cry Me a River” by Julie London

No piano, but I love this performance. Angie is still doing some of that pageant-y “here’s my dramatic face” mugging, but for this song it doesn’t bother me one bit. I don’t think Angie out did Kree, but she deserves praise for this one.

Judges Say: Mariah says it was an elegant number and that Angie has been holding out on us. I’ll bet she has! Maybe she even plays the accordion! Keith thinks the performance was mystical and celestially powerful. Nicki tells her “you came out tonight to snatch some wigs off some heads,” and I would give anything right now for Angie to run down to the judges’ table and make a great escape with Nicki’s hair. It doesn’t happen.  Randy calls the performance the best of the night and yells “she’s in it to win it!” twice. I would compare my paycheck to his…but then I might vomit.

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Additionally... Amber and Kree perform Adele’s “Rumor Has It” and that song should never be a duet. To no real fault of either of the ladies, it’s all over the place. Weird though – Amber receives so much praise for out-singing Kree. God help me. Angie and Candice also take on “Stay” by Rihanna. This was wayyyyyy better, and Candice even get some back handed compliments out of it. Angie, of course, is perfection. Grrrrr.

 

Spread your wings and prepare to fly...

My anger would last me through the rest of the evening if I thought we wouldn’t end up with a “surprise” non-elimination tomorrow. The finale isn’t for a few more weeks, so mathematically (and math is hard) there has to be a non-elimination week at some point.  We’ll find out for sure during the results show. Til then!